May 08, 2012

"Uhm, Where was I?"

Err, I know that this space has been neglected for months now but I've never quit on the journey. Let's just say I've been on hiatus and have been gathering strength to make way for the changes in my life. It's a bit challenging to pick up where I've left off especially if I'm introducing a new chapter to my evolving story but I believe it is essential to continue despite the pauses. Uhm, so where was I? (Aside from being in the midst of my rambling thoughts...) 

To begin, Ernest Hemingway proposes to "Write the truest  sentence that you know."  Okay, let's try this... mine would be...

"Oh sh*t, it's time to grow up- I'm going to become a mom." 

That's after seeing the pregnancy test 6 months ago. My husband and I knew we wanted and hoped for this to happen. We figured we were ready to move towards the next stage of our married life. It was about time that we try our luck in starting a family. We couldn't be "Kiddults" forever, could we? It's just that when it did happen, I was suddenly confronted with the reality that life is indeed going to be different. To be honest, nothing really prepares you for this kind of awakening.

I've been warned that the start of pregnancy is always the toughest. From morning sickness to the attack of hormones (or should I say HORRORmones), I was definitely feeling the initial punches of transofrmation. I suppose nature was telling me to toughen up for this new role. The second trimester proved to be kinder and has taught me to extend myself. To nurture growth, I have to let nature take its course and enjoy the process of change. Growing up may not be the easiest thing to go through but it has it's rewards of allowing yourself to flourish one day at a time. Pregnancy has reminded me that life is a continuos practice of faith- faith in yourself, faith in others, faith in science, faith in love, faith in a higher being. The practice of faith gave me the confidence to face uncertainty with compassion instead of fear.

Now that we're preparing ourselves to become parents, I am reminded of what my sister in law, Rina would say  that passion has to have a direction. Having a baby has become a compass that has helped us navigate our lives towards our true norths. We still have our individual dreams to pursue but now there's more reason to unify these dreams and to help each other take action. For us to become good parents, we also have to come fully alive as individuals. A happy husband and a happy wife makes a happy home. It's a simple dream that's definitely worth pursuing. 

No comments:

Post a Comment