Je ne sais quoi...

Fitzgerald, my best friend Nona and Paris to rekindle this blog. Reading his short autobiography and I am amused with his thoughts for the next generation, living on nothing, flappers that turn into mothers and all that jazz. 

Fitzgerald's thoughts on Americans living in France... 

"The trouble with most Americans in France," he remarked sonorously , "is that they won't lead a real French life. They hang around the big hotels and exchange opinions fresh from the States." 

"I know," she agreed. That's exactly what it said in the New York Times this morning."   

How to Live on Practically Nothing a Year (Woman's Home Companion, July 1924) 

Fitzgerald's thoughts on Motherhood...

So her life went on as it had gone on before. As she grew older her amusements changed, but she grew old slowly. The strange part of it is that the children think of her as a person, not as a "mother" who has to be written to once a fortnight and who will excuse their most intolerable shortcomings.   

Imagination and a Few Mothers (Ladies Home Journal, June 1923) 

Fitzgerald's thoughts for the future...

And when the time comes, as come it will, may I have the justice and the sense to say: "Good luck to you and good bye, for I owned this world once, but I own it no longer. Go your way now strenuously into the fight, and leave me in peace, among all the warm wrong things that I have loved, for I am old, and my work is done."   

Wait 'Till You Have Children of Your Own (Women's Home Companion, July 1924) 

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To Nona, Thanks for the book. We're not done being conversational whores just yet. I miss you. xoxo 

"Uhm, Where was I?"

Err, I know that this space has been neglected for months now but I've never quit on the journey. Let's just say I've been on hiatus and have been gathering strength to make way for the changes in my life. It's a bit challenging to pick up where I've left off especially if I'm introducing a new chapter to my evolving story but I believe it is essential to continue despite the pauses. Uhm, so where was I? (Aside from being in the midst of my rambling thoughts...) 

To begin, Ernest Hemingway proposes to "Write the truest  sentence that you know."  Okay, let's try this... mine would be...

"Oh sh*t, it's time to grow up- I'm going to become a mom." 

That's after seeing the pregnancy test 6 months ago. My husband and I knew we wanted and hoped for this to happen. We figured we were ready to move towards the next stage of our married life. It was about time that we try our luck in starting a family. We couldn't be "Kiddults" forever, could we? It's just that when it did happen, I was suddenly confronted with the reality that life is indeed going to be different. To be honest, nothing really prepares you for this kind of awakening.

I've been warned that the start of pregnancy is always the toughest. From morning sickness to the attack of hormones (or should I say HORRORmones), I was definitely feeling the initial punches of transofrmation. I suppose nature was telling me to toughen up for this new role. The second trimester proved to be kinder and has taught me to extend myself. To nurture growth, I have to let nature take its course and enjoy the process of change. Growing up may not be the easiest thing to go through but it has it's rewards of allowing yourself to flourish one day at a time. Pregnancy has reminded me that life is a continuos practice of faith- faith in yourself, faith in others, faith in science, faith in love, faith in a higher being. The practice of faith gave me the confidence to face uncertainty with compassion instead of fear.

Now that we're preparing ourselves to become parents, I am reminded of what my sister in law, Rina would say  that passion has to have a direction. Having a baby has become a compass that has helped us navigate our lives towards our true norths. We still have our individual dreams to pursue but now there's more reason to unify these dreams and to help each other take action. For us to become good parents, we also have to come fully alive as individuals. A happy husband and a happy wife makes a happy home. It's a simple dream that's definitely worth pursuing. 

Start Bright

Star light, Star bright...  

The first star I see tonight

 I wish I may, I wish I might

 Have the wish I wish tonight. 

I wish I may have all the might

To make my wishes come to light

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have the courage to always start bright

Here's to turning chapters and evolving stories. May we continue to live out the lives that we choose to create. Hurray, it's not the end of the of the world. Happy New Beginning! I hope all your dreams do come true! It's time to make a wish! :) 

Inside the Animal Farm

Farming has been on my mind. These pictures made me imagine George Orwell's classic novel Animal Farm. Trying to get into the mood to get down and dirty while working on the nitty gritty. Good start for the week and a free day in between too. Yahoo! 

"Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself."

- George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 1

"The animals were happy as they had never conceived it possible to be. Every mouthful of food was an acute positive pleasure, now that it was truly their own food, produced by themselves and for themselves, not doled out to them by a grudging master."
- George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 3

"No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?"
- George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 5

"All that year the animals worked like slaves. But they were happy in their work; they grudged no effort or sacrifice, well aware that everything they did was for the benefit of themselves and those of their kind who would come after them, and not for a pack of idle, thieving human beings."
- George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 6

"If she herself had had any picture of the future, it had been of a society of animals set free from hunger and the whip, all equal, each working according to his capacity, the strong protecting the weak."
- George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 7

"Besides, in those days they had been slaves and now they were free, and that made all the difference, as Squealer did not fail to point out."

- George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 9 

"Napoleon had denounced such ideas as contrary to the spirit of Animalism. The truest happiness, he said, lay in working hard and living frugally."
- George Orwell, Animal Farm, Ch. 10 

*Photos were taken at Costales Nature Farm (May 2011)

Who Killed the Curious Cat?

My friend Ninna loaned me this book by the late Alan Fletcher called "The Art of Looking Sideways". She stumbled upon it on a book sale and has since shared it with me. Filled with words and images that make your eyes wander and your mind wonder,  the book has been a constant fuel of inspiration. Here are some of the pages. 

This is just a few pages out of the 1,000 page book. It's a killer. (Pun intended) I hope your eyes were tickled.

PS. Ninna, if you're reading this- This post is for you! I miss you and Thank You! xoxo, Sheila

To Post or Not to Post

Why did I let my thoughts and ideas pile-up? Now I'm not quite sure how to start this again. This post is to remind myself that I have to continuously nurture what I've started. It's time to re-boot. Enough over-thinking, more doing. Ciao!   

"Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things."- Ray Bradbury

Mindfully Mundane on a Monday

In between stringing to-do's, dealing with lists, cramming thoughts and new ideas distract, my mind is full on a Monday. It's easy to lose focus on mechanical days when one works but dreams about short cuts to the future. My mind is playing tricks on me again, restless and in a rush. I really don't want last week's mindless actions tagging along on October's last week. If I have time to whine, I have time to direct reckless thoughts. This space has been a saving grace for me. If only I could show up even if I don't feel like showing up. Well, today is a start. You know what they say- "if you can't change your mind, you can't change anything."

Uprising, Abstract Error (03)

I find this abstract error amusing. It puts me into the presence of nothingness but I love it nonetheless. It is what it is. With colored perception, it is what you make it to be. Looking at this picture reminds me that the sublime does not reside in the to-do lists. Instead it lives in an experienced moment. 'Gotta shake up the mundane on Mondays and become more mindful in days to come.